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Gary McHenry
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Personality Bio
I spent my puppyhood in Sarasota, and those were certainly the Wonder Years. As in, it's a wonder I survived. My career in radio began by stringing bare copper wire through the trees in my backyard. This was my broadcasting antenna. I bought one of those weak, cheap transmitters at Radio Shack, and ramped up the power. Pretty soon, I was broadcasting to a square mile of residents, who couldn't understand why their Mantovani suddenly turned into Paul Revere & The Raiders on "WPIN...the VOICE of Pine Shores"!
Most of my friends spent their free time playing baseball, football, or swimming. I spent free time in my room, playing radio. This earned me the nickname, "that weird kid who sits in his room playing radio". My broadcasts came to a sudden halt, when I was shut down by the chairman of the FCC (aka Dad). During a severe thunderstorm, it seems that lightning was being carried via my antenna, into my aluminum window frame, and my room looked like Dr. Frankenstein's lab. Seems those golf ball-sized ceramic insulators don't work against a bezillion volts.
About this time, I started hanging out at 1280 WYND, "Surf Row Radio". I got my big break as a record gofer, a coffee gofer, a car washer...basically anything that was needed was handled by "the weird kid who does stuff for free". During my senior year in High School, I took part in the jobs program. Attended class for 3 hours, then went to work as the afternoon DJ at an Englewood daytimer (1530 WENG).
My radio idols at the time were Don Imus (back when he was actually alive), and a guy named Jack Harris on MusicRadio 97WFLA. Jack was only 50 or so at the time (1974), and did some hilarious bits. I sent him a fan letter, he invited me up to tour the station, I met the PD who offered me a part-time gig...all in the space of about two hours. The weekend overnights soon turned into a full-time evening shift, so I packed up my Pinto and headed to Tampa.
I became good buddies with the traffic reporter at the time, Tony Zappone. He asked if I wanted to fill in for him occasionally, and I made the mistake of saying "OK". This eventually led to giving up the hot stinky control room, and moving to a hot stinky traffic booth, which later led to a hot stinky helicopter. My meteoric rise through the ranks ended there. 33 years later, I'm...uh....reporting traffic! If I see Zappone, I may inflict bodily harm. ;-)
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Personality Contacts
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Personality Links
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Please Hold
Tuesday 07-15-2008 9:36pm ET
Here's something we can ALL relate to, and is one of the biggest causes of high blood pressure in the world today. Calling a big company for "customer service"....or "tech support". I recently had the pleasure of calling my bank and my computer company, both in the same day. I dialed the customer service number on the back of my credit/debit card, and a robotic woman told me how important my call was, but due to heavy calling volume, there may be a slight delay.
In the meantime, I was asked to dial in the last 4 digits of my card, then enjoyed some delightful elevator music for 20-30 minutes. Finally, a human came on the line and told me how important my call was, apologized for the delay, and asked for my card number again. "For security purposes, what is your mother's maiden name, the last 4 digits of your social security number, your pet's name, and where you were born?". I answered them all correctly, I guess, because he then told me how important my call was, that I was a valued customer, and asked how he could help me. I told him my concern, and he asked if this was related to a credit card or bank account.
"Both", I answered helpfully. "The debit card withdraws money from my bank account". He then told me that he would transfer me to the credit card department. More music, more robots telling me how important my call was...then another human. "I will need your credit card number, the last 4 digits of your social security number, your mother's maiden name, what you had for breakfast, and what you are wearing". I did all of this AGAIN, he told me how valuable I was AGAIN, and asked how he could assist me. I told him AGAIN.
"Okay", he said cheerfully...let me check. After a few minutes, he came back and told me that he would need to transfer me to the bank accounts division. Why ask for all of this info, then transfer me to ANOTHER person, who goes through the routine again?
And if I am such a valuable customer, answer my call FIRST. Computer tech support is the same routine....then you end up speaking to a rep in Delhi, who isn't sure exactly what a computer IS. If this computer help was free, I wouldn't complain...but ya gotta PAY for the "yearly plan". Gak! P. S. My apologies for not answering any email you may have sent. Thanks to Bill "Vista" Gates, my WINDOWS MAIL totally disappeared. The three of you that email, please send to: WrecksMcHenry@aol.com, until I can try and get it back. :-( Tooth Or Consequences
Monday 04-21-2008 2:01am ET
I'll admit it. I'm one of those idiots that go to doctors or dentists when something hurts.
The other morning at about 2am, I awoke with a toothache that felt like I had been shot in the mouth with a bazooka. Since the nearest 24-hour dental clinic I could locate was in Orlando, I waited until the first "general dentist" opened in the Tampa area, begged for an emergency appointment, and headed over at 8:01am.
The first thing they make you do, as you suffer severe pain, is fill out 36 pages of forms. Medical history, insurance information, HIPAA privacy forms. Then, they take you to an office where they explain all of your options, and how much each costs. My mind set at the time was PULL THE DAMN THING, give me something for pain, shoot me up with Novocain....I DON'T CARE.
X-rays determined that I had an abscess, and one tooth would need to be pulled to clean it out. "Fine....pull it....NOW, PLEASE"
I was then told that this "general dentist" doesn't do extractions, but they could send me to someone who does. Huh?
Apparently, dentistry has changed drastically in the last ten years. General Dentists don't pull teeth. You have to go to a Faciologist, or a Maxillodentist, or an Endopullteethio. So, I was sent across town to ANOTHER doc. You guessed it. I sat in the waiting room, filled out the same 36 pages of paperwork, was told my options again, and finally saw the Toothomaxillologist, who loaded me with Novocain, nitrous oxide gas (the only fun part)....and exactly 12 hours after the pain began, I was on my way to the pharmacy to pick up several prescriptions.
The really fun part was waiting at the pharmacy, with a mouthful of yucky gauze, while they asked me questions.
"What's your address?" "gwagwahuythb Dhwythwink Brog"
"Your age?" "ghdjky goo"
Anyone who has ever had a severe tooth problem KNOWS that it only occurs at 2am, or on weekends. Here's an idea that will make someone a millionaire. OPEN A 24 HOUR DENTAL CLINIC!! I can get emergency care if my spleen falls out, at any hour. I can take a pet to an all-night emergency clinic. What's up with this lack of dental care, around the clock?
To the dental industry, I say "bfhoojhg joo". This Blog Now Costs $12.00
Saturday 03-22-2008 11:37am ET
Yeah, I know. You don't need to hear about rising prices from ME....but this is ridiculous. Having a herd of dawgs, most of my income is spent feeding them and supplying their demanded treats. I can live without milk and corn, but they gotta have their Pupperonis. I went to the discount box store where I always buy them. Three weeks ago, the giganto pack was $7.99. A week later, they were $8.77. Last week, they had jumped to $10.19. Yesterday, I paid $10.45. If prices are rising THAT fast, then why isn't a Big Mac now $7.99? A Taco Bell taco should be 6 bucks. Campbell's Chunky soup, especially the corn chowder, should be 8 bucks per can, shouldn't it? It's the inconsistency that drives me nuts. If you're a fan of the latest craze, "energy drinks", you've probably noticed that you can pay nearly three bucks for a 16-ounce can of Red Bullpoop® or any of the 75 other copy cats, currently flooding the market. A couple of months ago, SuperSavings R Us Mart was selling a 4-pack for $3.99. Yesterday, the same 4 cans were $5.99, and they were "on special". I checked the ingredients and didn't find corn or crude oil ANYWHERE in the list. Not a single reference to milk or wheat either. What's THEIR excuse? A worldwide ginseng plague? Can you imagine how much would be sold at the price per gallon...$24.00? I went to my nephew's baseball game last Saturday afternoon and filled up my tank on the way at $3.19 per gallon for the cheapest stuff. On the way home (3 hours later), the SAME station had raised prices to $3.22. Sunday morning, I looked and saw that the price was then $3.26. The NEXT night, it was $3.30. They apparently have full time employees who live on ladders, changing (raising) the prices every 4 hours. I think I have a solution. It wouldn't help financially, but the psychological effect may prevent price-rage at the pumps. Convert gallons to something smaller. Much of the world sells gasoline utilizing the Imperial/British gallon, which is .83% of a US gallon. Wouldn't you FEEL better if you saw a sign advertising gas at $2.73, instead of $3.30? Hell, let's go crazy and sell it by the quart! Would you like a car wash with that? They still bend your mirrors and snap off antennas for only 8 bucks. 
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© 2008